Underwhelmed Evolution
Jan. 20th, 2006 08:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
craigoxbrowI went into Underworld Evolution fully expecting it to be a big pile of shite, and it duly was - but it didn't have the mitigaing factors I expected it to have, none of which were beyond the creators' capabilities...
Underworld seemed like a little movie trying to show a big canvas - the hidden war between vampires and werewolves was largely shuffled offstage, and we never got much more than one-on-one monster fighting, which seemed like it should have been the film's Unique Selling Point. Cometh the sequel, there's more money to throw around and... after the prologue, the biggest fight scene involves seven people. Seven.
There's a technically-impressive chase-fight early on, but it is essentially Two Weird-Looking Guys Hitting Each Other, and that's been done less expensively but more involvingly in about eighty episodes of Angel.
Ah yes. The prologue. Featuring most of Bill Nighy's five-minute show-stealing cameo. It'd actually be great if the vampires hadn't come armed with giant grappling hooks and dressed as the Rohirrim.
Speaking of cameos, Michael Sheen is good enough to appear for all of a minute in his ex-wife and her new husband's big movie.
The new Big Bad is one of the minor monster-hunting vampires from Blade II wearing Michael Sheen's old costume, who turns into a giant bat guy which doesn't look as good as the one in Coppola's Dracula. He also doesn't do anything definably bad on-screen for an hour and a half, and the first character he kills puts me on his side from the get-go.
Erika's enigmatic political schemes and envious sisterly relationship with Selene doesn't progress at all due to Sophia Myles not being in this film apart from two shots in flashbacks from the original film.
Derek Jacobi lends unnecessary gravitas to the role of Justicar Strek, or whatever his name was.
Scott Speedman is okay as the reckless newly-turned Gangrel. Kate Beckinsale still doesn't look like she fancies him at all.
Selene gets to play a bigger role in the plot than just being, y'know, the hero because obviously that wasn't important enough... She also gets an emotional arc which is covered in three minutes. And no new outfits, except in a blurry flashback.
There's a Non-Specific Power-Up sequence which means we have no idea how powerful anyone is in the final battle, and comes from someone who doesn't seem terribly powerful at all.
There are about twelve times as many actual humans in this as in Underworld. In that there are about twelve.
Once again, bugger-all of the film happens in sight of humans apart from an attempt to get dinner at a truck stop, further demonstrating why "Underworld" doesn't fit as a title for this series about vampires and werewolves operating not so much hidden as totally absent from the eyes of humanity.
It's now possible to show someone's head being ripped off mid-sentence utterly seamlessly. Which is nice. It's one of the effects that pushed this up to an unexpected 18 certificate - it feels like a 15 with more blood and ick in the fight scenes, or possibly a 12A with more swearing. (One of the bits of swearing is weirdly naturalistic in the middle of all this portentous dialogue and Terminator 2 monologuing.)
The final battle comes in the cavernous interior of a ruined castle. The money that could have lead to a big fight between lots of monsters goes on the cavernous interior of a ruined castle. They couldn't just have borrowed one from Dracula? Or Van Helsing? Or HellBoy?
It's the first time I ever heard the music massively underscore an "I have two guns now!" moment.
In keeping with tradition, the song on the adverts (in this case by Nine Inch Nails) is not in the film. I assume this is due to cost.
And again, the final voiceover promises a more interesting film to be made in the future. With lots of monsters fighting at the same time. I wouldn't hold my breath.
As I departed to the thumping orchestral score over the credits, I noted that one of the original writers wasn't involved - I think the one who had the idea in the first place. Hmm...
Okay, now I feel like I got my money's worth.
Underworld seemed like a little movie trying to show a big canvas - the hidden war between vampires and werewolves was largely shuffled offstage, and we never got much more than one-on-one monster fighting, which seemed like it should have been the film's Unique Selling Point. Cometh the sequel, there's more money to throw around and... after the prologue, the biggest fight scene involves seven people. Seven.
There's a technically-impressive chase-fight early on, but it is essentially Two Weird-Looking Guys Hitting Each Other, and that's been done less expensively but more involvingly in about eighty episodes of Angel.
Ah yes. The prologue. Featuring most of Bill Nighy's five-minute show-stealing cameo. It'd actually be great if the vampires hadn't come armed with giant grappling hooks and dressed as the Rohirrim.
Speaking of cameos, Michael Sheen is good enough to appear for all of a minute in his ex-wife and her new husband's big movie.
The new Big Bad is one of the minor monster-hunting vampires from Blade II wearing Michael Sheen's old costume, who turns into a giant bat guy which doesn't look as good as the one in Coppola's Dracula. He also doesn't do anything definably bad on-screen for an hour and a half, and the first character he kills puts me on his side from the get-go.
Erika's enigmatic political schemes and envious sisterly relationship with Selene doesn't progress at all due to Sophia Myles not being in this film apart from two shots in flashbacks from the original film.
Derek Jacobi lends unnecessary gravitas to the role of Justicar Strek, or whatever his name was.
Scott Speedman is okay as the reckless newly-turned Gangrel. Kate Beckinsale still doesn't look like she fancies him at all.
Selene gets to play a bigger role in the plot than just being, y'know, the hero because obviously that wasn't important enough... She also gets an emotional arc which is covered in three minutes. And no new outfits, except in a blurry flashback.
There's a Non-Specific Power-Up sequence which means we have no idea how powerful anyone is in the final battle, and comes from someone who doesn't seem terribly powerful at all.
There are about twelve times as many actual humans in this as in Underworld. In that there are about twelve.
Once again, bugger-all of the film happens in sight of humans apart from an attempt to get dinner at a truck stop, further demonstrating why "Underworld" doesn't fit as a title for this series about vampires and werewolves operating not so much hidden as totally absent from the eyes of humanity.
It's now possible to show someone's head being ripped off mid-sentence utterly seamlessly. Which is nice. It's one of the effects that pushed this up to an unexpected 18 certificate - it feels like a 15 with more blood and ick in the fight scenes, or possibly a 12A with more swearing. (One of the bits of swearing is weirdly naturalistic in the middle of all this portentous dialogue and Terminator 2 monologuing.)
The final battle comes in the cavernous interior of a ruined castle. The money that could have lead to a big fight between lots of monsters goes on the cavernous interior of a ruined castle. They couldn't just have borrowed one from Dracula? Or Van Helsing? Or HellBoy?
It's the first time I ever heard the music massively underscore an "I have two guns now!" moment.
In keeping with tradition, the song on the adverts (in this case by Nine Inch Nails) is not in the film. I assume this is due to cost.
And again, the final voiceover promises a more interesting film to be made in the future. With lots of monsters fighting at the same time. I wouldn't hold my breath.
As I departed to the thumping orchestral score over the credits, I noted that one of the original writers wasn't involved - I think the one who had the idea in the first place. Hmm...
Okay, now I feel like I got my money's worth.
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no subject
Date: 2006-01-20 09:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-20 09:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-20 09:27 pm (UTC)Say wha?
Date: 2006-01-31 01:51 pm (UTC)Re: Say wha?
Date: 2006-02-01 01:52 am (UTC)That was speaking as a leech on Her Majesty's resources, of course.
Re: Say wha?
Date: 2006-02-01 08:41 pm (UTC)He has a point, though ;)
But check the IPs, c'est ne pas moi.
If that comic at the top was by you,btw, you've done well my son.
The slandered Keith
Re: Say wha?
Date: 2006-02-01 08:44 pm (UTC)Anyway, the IP address thing stands.
PS If you're wanting to watch the superbowl this weekend, some folks are round. For old times sake and all that. Though *I* was of the opinion that you were working right now?
Re: Say wha?
Date: 2006-02-02 07:56 pm (UTC)Can't claim credit for the comic. (Or indeed the ability to make a .png file...)
I am not-so-gainfully employed at present, but just Tuesday-Thursday. Dunno what I'm doing Sunday as yet, but I'll bear the offer in mind. Thanks.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-22 01:54 am (UTC)Also, seeing movies with Gecko Phantom makes them better. It's always fun when somebody taps you on the shoulder a quarter-way into a movie and says "that's exactly the kind of emotional clearheadedness you will never see in our game."
no subject
Date: 2006-01-23 01:15 am (UTC)(I also wanted a big fight between lots of rebels and Agents in a Matrix sequel, and the "hundred plasticky CGI Smiths" didn't do it for me. The four Merovingian goons was great, as a fight scene, but was connected to that essentially pointless Mr. Johnson and so didn't engage beyond that.)
And on further reflection all the backstabbing and polite treachery was my favourite part of the original film. I'm very much of the "backstabbing and polite treachery" school of Vampire politicking. (And yes, that was also the Sophia Myles bit...)
no subject
Date: 2006-01-23 01:50 am (UTC)Yeah, I would have liked to see her use that trick again.
"I also wanted a big fight between lots of rebels and Agents in a Matrix sequel, and the 'hundred plasticky CGI Smiths' didn't do it for me."
There's a much better (but somewhat similar) fight in Tokyo Raiders. Unfortunately, it's almost the only part of the movie worth seeing. It's not quite slapstick, but it is silly, in a kind of Avengers way. Anyway, it's a lot cooler than the one in Reloaded.
"And on further reflection all the backstabbing and polite treachery was my favourite part of the original film. I'm very much of the 'backstabbing and polite treachery' school of Vampire politicking. (And yes, that was also the Sophia Myles bit...)"
That was a really good part of the first movie. (The extended cut actually has a lot more of Erika and her jealousy in it, by the way.) I enjoyed the Mekhet guy's part in this one on a similar level- Viktor's been spending a lot of time covering up the truth, apparently trying to hide it even from people who were there. Guy's such an Invictus (or Camarilla).
I also enjoyed Aleksandr Corvinus's complete ineffectualness- the kind of parental instinct that can train a paramilitary response unit to keep his boys out of trouble but can't bear to even raise his hand against them is pure Vampire to me.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-23 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-26 11:55 pm (UTC)